Monthly Archive: February 2013

Feb 28

Crone tries on old blaming hat

Hey, if you’re a disenfranchised Blamer, you might be interested to know that I’ve got a new post up at IBTP. It’s sort of, but not really, about “Makers,” that documentary on the women’s movement they showed on PBS the other night. I am considering jumping back into the blaming fray permanently. You can take …

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Feb 26

Of Fitbits and horse spits

The object in the photo is my recent Fitbit. If you aren’t familiar with the self-tracking craze that’s sweeping the nation, and I sincerely hope you aren’t, the word “Fitbit” will mean nothing to you. I regret to say that Fitbit is a little electronic pedometer that you put in your pocket, whereupon it tracks …

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Feb 24

The Fresh New Arcadian Horror

Decades before I ever thought I’d hang up my Les Paul and repair to the countryside to cultivate my eccentric reclusiveness, my college pal Leslie dropped out of society. She bagged her life of nonstop excitement and glamorous adventure in Chicago and biffed off to Bumfuck, Kentucky to raise endangered farm animals. I’m sayin, Kentucky. …

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Feb 20

Nary a drop to drink

Shall I speak to you of rainwater collection? Hear ye my sorrowful lament. The story begins in 2005 at the offices of Jagoff & Pretentsio, my architects. The bunkhouse was still on the drawing board, glowing with the promise of my future contentment. We all gathered around the drawings, sipping lattes.* “You’re gonna love your …

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Feb 15

Hay there

We were down to about 20 bales and I was starting to get nervous. An empty hay barn is a dispiriting spectacle. No crone can rest easy in a hay vacuum. Two years ago, as a result of the worst drought since the dawn of time, you couldn’t get a flake of hay in Cottonmouth …

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Feb 12

Manure, hair dye, and more beetles

Carried off on a wave of enthusiasm for beetles, yesterday I posted these photos in the comments. Considering their sheer gaudiness, the notion of promoting these handsome bugs to the front page suggested itself. This is a rainbow scarab, notable not only for its ginormous prong and iridescent awesomeness, but for its taste for horse …

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Feb 11

Fig. 17. Unexpected longhorned beetle, 1.5″ excluding antennae

When you live in the country it’s more or less a foregone conclusion that on a daily basis you’ll be forced to look at things that bum you out. For example, it’s a pretty painful tableau when you’re about to slice onions and you reach for the trusty mandoline, but suddenly, blamm! A big-ass beetle …

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Feb 09

Gross crap oozes out of horse, again

It’s a fact: horses with chronic ventral midline edema are endlessly fascinating. You can bet that a few days ago when my mare Ginger Rogers suffered another relapse after a two-month dry spell I could pretty much see “Internet Sensation!” written all over her crusty, serum-oozing umbilical carbuncles. It was the work of a moment …

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Feb 05

Crone predicts own existential funk

So much has transpired since last I remembered that I had a blog, it’s ridiculous. But don’t worry. I won’t bore you with any of it. Suffice it to say that it was all dreadful. However, I can’t resist posting a couple of pictures. Observe the new Dreadful Acres barn, approaching (but never attaining) a …

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