Category Archive: Vexations

Nov 10

Crone complains about horse dudes

Ginger Rogers is off to the vet this morning. I want the doc to have a look at her belly-bomb. It is now the size of Guam and is leaking fluid in torrents. Trailering horses is a nightmare. I just don’t do it often enough to get good at it. I am a lone crone, …

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Nov 05

The decline of Western civilization

I was cautioned, when embarking on this feckless-crone-in-the-countryside blog project, to prevent it at all costs from devolving into cat blogging. How well I understand that worthy sentiment! Now that we’re all sophisticated internet users, cat blogging has justifiably become the symbol of Internetian culture’s wanton degradation. Cat bloggers waste valuable energy uncynically cat blogging …

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Nov 02

Of fences and anxiety attacks

Dreadful Acres has a handy 20-acre hay field. Of course this field has lain fallow for decades, and since I haven’t the faintest idea how to grow hay, it will probably lie fallow for decades more. “Lie fallow” is not a phrase I ever had occasion to use before I moved out here. Anyway, some …

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Oct 27

Icy fingers of dawn choke Crone

What, you ask, could today’s melanbucolica possibly be? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s the depressing morning raincloud sky, coupled with the season’s inexplicably having bloinked from summer straight into winter literally overnight. As I lay in bed curling a wrinkled lip at the grim panorama, the icy purgatorial skidsteer of doom crashed through my window …

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Oct 25

Gross horse reality neither jibes nor jives with cronal nostalgia

The author riding her first horse Serenade, ca. 1970

When you’re a kid — and I’m sure nobody will mind if I continue addressing these essays to the International Vagina Community; it is an ingrained habit, and, unlike most habits in which crones indulge, it has, at worst, a neutral impact on the good of humanity — but as I was saying, when you’re …

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Oct 23

Disgusting tableau of the day

Out here in the fields, I see creepy and disgusting things all day, every day. Today’s first creepy thing was a 2-inch millipede strolling across the bathroom floor at 5:30 AM. Today’s first disgusting thing was a pile of puke on the seat of my Gator. I attribute the puke to the feral cat that’s …

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Oct 23

Crone runs out of Benadryl spray

One might imagine that, in an extreme drought such as the one that has plagued the picturesque Texas Hill Country lo these past several years, mosquitoes would be pretty thin on the ground. Well, that might be true for rural acreages where knuckleheads have not installed miles of gutters and drainpipes that never fully divest …

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