When 31 years of yukking it up in the city brought on a fit of nostalgic melancholy, I returned to the Texas Hill Country to reclaim my lost idyllic rural childhood.
Since then the things I've seen would twist your liver.
Country life is a cascade of awesome horrors emanating from every puff of wildfire smoke, every rifle shot cracking through the drought, every rogue donkey falling into the pool. It doesn't kill me, it doesn't make me stronger, it just makes me ... the Crone of Cottonmouth County. With hilarious results.