Tag Archive: disgusting

Dec 03

Chronic affliction blows crone’s lobe

Everything a crone needs to combat oozing lumpomas.

By the shaking jumping ghost of Jehosaphat (by which oath crones occasionally swear when they’ve already yagged out “god fucking dammit to hell are you fucking kidding me” about 67 times and are then inclined toward a brief, restful phase of ironic 19th-century folksiness), I tell you I can’t stand it another minute. By gum. …

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Nov 07

Ginger Rogers afflicted

Well, it’s official. Ginger Rogers has onchocerciasis. That’s right. Parasitic worms living in the connective tissue in her neck — and may I say holy shit — have migrated to her umbilicus and are causing a crusty, weepy edema about the size of a grapefruit. Shoot me now. ___________ Photo: Ginger Rogers’ swollen belly button …

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Oct 23

Disgusting tableau of the day

Out here in the fields, I see creepy and disgusting things all day, every day. Today’s first creepy thing was a 2-inch millipede strolling across the bathroom floor at 5:30 AM. Today’s first disgusting thing was a pile of puke on the seat of my Gator. I attribute the puke to the feral cat that’s …

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